Masking Day to Day and at Work

What it looks like

The National Autistic Society lists the common forms. Suppressing things that soothe you, such as stimming or talking about an interest. Copying the body language of the people around you, and building detailed scripts for social situations.

In an ordinary day, that can be:

• Running through the staff meeting in your head on the way in
• Noticing how a colleague phrases things and borrowing it
• Keeping your hands flat on the desk when they want to move
• Holding a face that reads as interested while the noise wears you down
• Laughing at the right moment because you have learned where it goes

Autistic adults who described masking to researchers called it putting on their best normal. That phrase came from one of them, not from the researchers.

Sources: NAS: masking, Hull et al. 2017

Why work is the hardest room

In 2019, 262 autistic adults were asked where they masked and why. Formal settings such as work came out as a main reason. People masked to get by, and for autistic women that reason came up more often.

Work has the longest hours. It has the least room to leave. It is also where being read as different can cost you money.

Home is often the place where the act comes off. That is why the evening can feel like a collapse rather than a rest.

Source: Cage & Troxell-Whitman 2019

Switching is not a break

You might mask at work and not at home, and expect that to halve the cost. The 2019 study found otherwise.

People who masked heavily everywhere reported poorer mental health. So did people who switched between masking in some places and not others. Switching had a cost of its own.

That fits what people say about the commute home. Taking the mask off is work too.

Source: Cage & Troxell-Whitman 2019

What people say it costs

In 2021, 277 autistic adults described the negative side of masking. Exhaustion came first. Then isolation, poor mental and physical health, and a loss of identity.

They also named a positive side. Masking got them into rooms they would otherwise be shut out of, and it kept them safe. The authors read it as necessary for survival in a world built for the majority.

Time spent masking is what seemed to do the most damage. Not whether you do it, but how many hours a day it runs.

Source: Bradley et al. 2021

You are not the only one

Non-autistic people mask too. In a 2021 study, autistic, neurodivergent and neurotypical adults all described exhaustion and feeling cut off from themselves.

Only autistic people described suppressing sensory responses. If you sit through a loud office pretending it does not hurt, that is a specific kind of effort.

If the noise and lighting are part of it, the sensory-friendly therapy page lists what you can ask for. NICE expects services to adjust lighting, noise and space for autistic adults.

Sources: Miller et al. 2021, NICE CG142

Things you can ask for at work

None of this needs a diagnosis to request, and most of it costs an employer nothing.

• An agenda before a meeting, so you do not have to rehearse blind
• Written follow-up instead of a verbal one
• A desk away from the loudest part of the room, or headphones without comment
• Camera off on some calls
• A short walk after a long meeting, without needing a reason

If asking feels like another performance, that is a fair place to start with a professional.