![Two chairs set at an angle in a garden room, with a written page on the table between them](https://viacara.com/img/content/nd-masking-finding-feature-light.webp) # Finding a Professional Who Works With Masking What to look for, what to ask before you book and how our conversation names masking in its own right, so you are not sent to the wrong person. ## The *wrong* advice The advice people who mask hear most is to be themselves. If you knew how, you would have done it by now. A 2021 analysis by two autistic researchers explains why that advice misses. Masking is learned in response to stigma. Dropping it is not a decision, and it is not safe in every room. A professional who understands masking will not start there. Source: [Pearson & Rose 2021](https://viacara.com/support/neurodivergence/masking/finding-a-professional/#ref-5) ## What to *look* for Autistic adults who described masking to researchers were clear about what reduced it. Being accepted for who they were. So the first test is whether the professional works that way. - They know the word, and they do not need it explained - They treat a calm exterior as information, not as evidence that you are fine - They can say what they do not know about autism or ADHD - They do not push a diagnosis on you, and they do not refuse to discuss one either - They know that autistic burnout is different from depression - They ask how sessions could cost you less, before you have to ask That last point matters most. Therapy is another room, and it is possible to perform your way through it. A good professional makes it a room where you do not have to. Sources: [Bradley et al. 2021](https://viacara.com/support/neurodivergence/masking/finding-a-professional/#ref-1), [Higgins et al. 2021](https://viacara.com/support/neurodivergence/masking/finding-a-professional/#ref-3) ## What NICE *expects* The national guidance for autistic adults asks professionals to adapt how they work. Concrete structure, with written and visual material. Plain English, with less metaphor and ambiguity. You can ask for those adjustments whether or not you have a diagnosis. A professional who understands masking will usually offer them first. Source: [NICE CG142](https://viacara.com/support/neurodivergence/masking/finding-a-professional/#ref-4) ![A lavender armchair beside a low table with a handwritten list, a pen, a folded newspaper and a mug](https://viacara.com/img/content/nd-masking-finding-mid-light.webp) Questions you are allowed to ask before you book ## Questions to *ask* before you book You are allowed to ask before you commit to anything. A short message is enough. > I mask a lot, and it is exhausting. I do not have a diagnosis and I am not looking for one right now. > > Do you work with masking as a thing in itself? And can we agree a signal for when I need a break? If the reply answers the question you asked, that is a good sign. If it steers straight to assessment, you have learned something early. ## Another place to *look* We are not the only route, and we would rather you found the right person than used us. [Autism Services Directory](https://www.autism.org.uk) Autistic people and families The National Autistic Society's directory of services and professionals across the UK. Listings are held by the charity, not checked by us. [Search the directory](https://www.autism.org.uk/autism-services-directory) ## How our *conversation* names it We are a connecting service, not a clinical one. We do not assess anyone and we do not diagnose anyone. What we do is listen to how you describe the day. Masking is one of the things our conversation is built to recognise. If you describe rehearsing, copying or the exhaustion of performing, we treat that as the theme itself. It is separate from autism and ADHD, and you do not need to choose either one. Our conversation recognises masking most reliably when you describe what you do, such as rehearsing or copying. Saying only that you are worn out can read as tiredness. If the mask is the point, name what it takes. ## If you are past *tired* Autistic adults who defined burnout described suicidal behaviour among its impacts. If tonight is that kind of night, please do not wait for an introduction. Our [crisis page](https://viacara.com/crisis/) lists free confidential helplines you can contact now. You do not need to be in danger to use them. Source: [Raymaker et al. 2020](https://viacara.com/support/neurodivergence/masking/finding-a-professional/#ref-2) Thanks for your interest. We're not taking on new clients at the moment. ## Ready to say it *once*? We ask what matters to you, then find professionals who fit. Leave your email and we'll let you know as soon as we're ready for you. This conversation helps us find you the right support. What you share helps us understand what you're looking for and find someone who fits. Your email keeps you updated on what's happening next and isn't shared with anyone we introduce you to. [Privacy policy](https://viacara.com/privacy) [Terms of service](https://viacara.com/terms) ## References 1. Bradley, L., Shaw, R., Baron-Cohen, S. & Cassidy, S. (2021). *Autistic adults' experiences of camouflaging and its perceived impact on mental health*. Autism in Adulthood. [doi:10.1089/aut.2020.0071](https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0071) 2. Raymaker, D. M., Teo, A. R., Steckler, N. A., Lentz, B., Scharer, M., Delos Santos, A., Kapp, S. K., Hunter, M., Joyce, A. & Nicolaidis, C. (2020). *"Having all of your internal resources exhausted beyond measure and being left with no clean-up crew": defining autistic burnout*. Autism in Adulthood. [doi:10.1089/aut.2019.0079](https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2019.0079) 3. Higgins, J. M., Arnold, S. R. C., Weise, J., Pellicano, E. & Trollor, J. N. (2021). *Defining autistic burnout through experts by lived experience: grounded Delphi method investigating #AutisticBurnout*. Autism. [doi:10.1177/13623613211019858](https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613211019858) 4. NICE (2021). *Autism spectrum disorder in adults: diagnosis and management (CG142), recommendations 1.6.2 and 1.6.3*. [Link](https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg142/chapter/Recommendations) 5. Pearson, A. & Rose, K. (2021). *A conceptual analysis of autistic masking: understanding the narrative of stigma and the illusion of choice*. Autism in Adulthood. [doi:10.1089/aut.2020.0043](https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0043) ## Related ### [What Masking Is](https://viacara.com/support/neurodivergence/masking/what-masking-is/) Masking, or camouflaging, means hiding parts of yourself to fit in. Here is how researchers and autistic people describe it, and why it is not a flaw. ### [Masking Without a Diagnosis](https://viacara.com/support/neurodivergence/masking/masking-without-a-diagnosis/) Most autistic adults in England have no diagnosis, and masking is part of why. You can get help with the performing without deciding what sits behind it. ### [Finding the Right Practitioner](https://viacara.com/guides/finding-a-practitioner/) A practical guide to finding a mental health practitioner who fits your needs, preferences and budget. ### [What to Expect from a First Consultation](https://viacara.com/guides/what-to-expect/) Everything you need to know about your first therapy or coaching session, from what to say to how to prepare.