![A lavender armchair on a small lawn facing a tall fence, a neighbour's flawless garden lit up beyond it](https://viacara.com/img/content/online-comparison-feature-light.webp) # Comparison and Self-Worth Online Scrolling past other people's best moments can wear down how you see yourself. Why comparison online hurts, and what can help. Online, you see other people's best moments next to your ordinary day. It is easy to come away feeling that you have less, or that you are less. Mind says comparing yourself with others online can harm your self-esteem and how you see your life. You can feel that way even when you know the feed is not the whole story. This page is for adults. If you are under 18, the [under-18s section](https://viacara.com/support/under-18s/) is for you. Source: [Mind: being online](https://viacara.com/support/life-online/comparison/#ref-1) ## Why it gets to you A feed is an edit. Mind points out that we mostly see what other people want to share about their lives. You may see the new job or the holiday, and rarely the rejection or the row. So you measure your whole life, seen from the inside, against a few chosen moments of someone else's. You do not see how they feel when the phone goes down. Few lives would come out well from that comparison. Psychologists have studied how people compare themselves with others since the 1950s. We think a feed gives that old habit far more to work with, at any hour. Sources: [Mind: being online](https://viacara.com/support/life-online/comparison/#ref-1), [Festinger 1954](https://viacara.com/support/life-online/comparison/#ref-5) ## What it can *look* like You may recognise some of these: - You close an app feeling worse than when you opened it - A friend's wedding, baby or promotion leaves you feeling behind - You count the likes on a post and feel judged by the number - You edit photos of yourself, or delete them, before anyone else can see - Your home, your job or your body starts to feel not good enough - You keep your own good news to yourself, because it seems small None of this makes you shallow or ungrateful. It is what a steady stream of other people's highlights can do. ## When it is about your *body* Much of what you see online is about how people look. Just over one in five UK adults said social media images made them worry about their body image. That survey dates from 2019, so the share today may be different. If comparing your body has changed how you eat or exercise, read our [eating and body image page](https://viacara.com/support/eating-and-body-image/). It covers body image and food, and where to find support. Source: [MHF: body image 2019](https://viacara.com/support/life-online/comparison/#ref-3) ![The lavender armchair turned round to face its own garden, a vegetable bed and wild flowers in warm evening light](https://viacara.com/img/content/online-comparison-mid-light.webp) Looked at properly, your own garden is more alive than it seemed ## Small *changes* that can help Mind names constant comparing with others as one sign you may need a break from being online. It suggests changes you can try: - Check in with yourself about how you feel while you are online - Unfollow people or accounts that do not make you feel good - Delete apps that make your mental health worse - Turn off notification sounds, so apps are easier to ignore You do not have to give up social media. Small changes to what you see, and when, can make it feel lighter. Source: [Mind: online offline balance](https://viacara.com/support/life-online/comparison/#ref-2) ## What *talking* can help with Comparison can hook onto something already there, such as low self-esteem, loneliness or a hard stretch in your life. A professional can help with what sits underneath the scrolling. - Noticing when comparison starts, and what sets it off - Quietening the inner voice that turns other people's news into proof you are failing - Working out what you want, rather than what the feed tells you to want - Choosing how you use social media, instead of it choosing for you If comparing has worn down your confidence, our [low self-esteem page](https://viacara.com/support/self-esteem/) says more. For low self-esteem, the NHS names [counselling](https://viacara.com/approaches/counselling/) and [cognitive behavioural therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/cbt/) as treatments. If it has become a low mood that will not lift, read about [depression](https://viacara.com/support/depression/). Source: [NHS: raising self-esteem](https://viacara.com/support/life-online/comparison/#ref-4) Thanks for your interest. We're not taking on new clients at the moment. ## Ready to feel *enough* as you are? We ask what matters to you, then find professionals who fit. Leave your email and we'll let you know as soon as we're ready for you. This conversation helps us find you the right support. What you share helps us understand what you're looking for and find someone who fits. Your email keeps you updated on what's happening next and isn't shared with anyone we introduce you to. [Privacy policy](https://viacara.com/privacy) [Terms of service](https://viacara.com/terms) ## References 1. Mind (2023). *How being online can affect your mental health*. [Link](https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/looking-after-your-mental-health-online/about-your-mental-health-online/) 2. Mind (2023). *Online and offline balance*. [Link](https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/looking-after-your-mental-health-online/online-offline-balance/) 3. Mental Health Foundation (2019). *Body image: How we think and feel about our bodies*. [Link](https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/articles/body-image-report-executive-summary) 4. National Health Service (2023). *Raising low self-esteem*. [Link](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/) 5. Festinger, L. (1954). *A theory of social comparison processes*. Human Relations. [doi:10.1177/001872675400700202](https://doi.org/10.1177/001872675400700202) ## Related ### [Life Online](https://viacara.com/support/life-online/) Social media, the news and hours on your phone can wear down your mood, sleep and self-worth. What being online can do, and where support fits. ### [Low Self-Esteem](https://viacara.com/support/self-esteem/) Low self-esteem is a learned opinion of yourself, and it can change. Find a professional who helps you see yourself more fairly. ### [Eating and Body Image](https://viacara.com/support/eating-and-body-image/) A hard relationship with food or your body is common and treatable. Find support that runs alongside your GP and NHS care. ### [Understanding Anxiety](https://viacara.com/support/anxiety/) Learn about anxiety, its symptoms and how therapy can help. Find the right practitioner for anxiety support. ### [Low Mood and Depression](https://viacara.com/support/depression/) Low mood that lasts two weeks or more can be a sign of depression. It is common and treatable. Find a professional who works with low mood. ### [Counselling](https://viacara.com/approaches/counselling/) Learn what counselling is, what sessions look like, how it differs from CBT and psychotherapy and how to find a counsellor on a recognised register. ### [Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)](https://viacara.com/approaches/cbt/) Learn how CBT works, what happens in sessions and what NICE says about it, and read about its forms for sleep, pain and self-help. ### [Finding the Right Practitioner](https://viacara.com/guides/finding-a-practitioner/) A practical guide to finding a mental health practitioner who fits your needs, preferences and budget.