![Two chairs facing each other in a sheltered garden bower](https://viacara.com/img/content/couples-feature-light.webp) # Couples Therapy Couples therapy for any kind of couple: how sessions work, time alone with the therapist, what it costs for two and when it is not the right start. ## When a relationship needs *support* Every relationship goes through hard passages. Sometimes the same argument keeps coming back. Sometimes one of you feels unseen, or both of you feel lonely in the same room. Sometimes one event has shaken the trust between you. Neither of you is sure how to talk about it without making it worse. These things are common. Asking for help is not a sign that the relationship has failed. It is often what gives it a chance. ## You might find couples therapy *helpful* when - The same conflicts keep coming back, and neither of you feels heard - An affair, a loss or a money shock has changed how safe the relationship feels - You have stopped talking, or what talk remains feels brittle - One of you is thinking about leaving and the other does not know yet - You are about to take a big step together, such as moving in, marriage or a child - You are choosing to part and want to do it with care, especially with children involved You do not need a big enough reason. Wanting it to feel better is reason enough. ![A shared journal open on a table between two full cups of tea](https://viacara.com/img/content/couples-mid-light.webp) Slowing down enough to hear what the other one means. ## How couples therapy *works* A couples therapist sits with both of you and takes neither side. Their job is to slow the talk down. Then each of you can hear what the other one means, not only what they said. Sessions are often weekly at first, and sometimes fortnightly later. At Relate, a session usually lasts about 50 minutes. You can meet in person or online. There is no set number of sessions. At Tavistock Relationships, sessions go on for as long as you and your therapist find them helpful. Sources: [Relate: FAQs](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-5), [Tavistock Relationships: FAQs](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-6) ## Your first *sessions* The first joint session is mostly listening. The therapist asks how you met, what works, what hurts and why you came now. Nobody expects you to settle anything on the first day. Many therapists also see each of you alone. At Relate, each of you meets the counsellor separately as part of the first assessment. The Gottman method starts with a joint session, then an interview with each partner on their own. Time alone lets each of you say what is hard to say with the other one listening. Ask at the start what the therapist does with something you tell them alone. You have a right to know before you speak. Sources: [Relate: initial assessment](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-4), [Gottman Institute: method](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-3) ## Sessions on your *own* Couples work sometimes runs alongside individual sessions. One of you might carry a loss, a trauma or a habit that needs its own space. A good therapist will say so, and may suggest a separate professional for it. If your partner will not come yet, you can start on your own. Tavistock Relationships sees many people alone, sometimes because a partner does not want to attend. Working out what you need is part of finding it. Source: [Tavistock Relationships: FAQs](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-6) ## What it *costs* for two One fee usually covers the session, not each person in it. Using ViaCara costs you nothing. Your professional sets their own fee. Lower-cost routes exist. In England and Wales, Relate's fees depend on household income. Tavistock Relationships also sets fees by income. The NHS offers behavioural couples therapy when one of you has depression and the relationship may be part of it. NICE recommends the same. The partner with depression refers themselves. Sources: [Relate: FAQs](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-5), [Tavistock Relationships: fees](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-7), [NHS: depression treatment](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-8), [NICE NG222](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-9) ## The methods you may *hear* about Therapists work in different ways. These three methods come up most often. How three couples methods *differ* - **[Emotionally focused therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#eft-pattern)** The therapist explores the pattern between you and what each of you needs. - **[The Gottman method](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#gottman-areas)** The therapist looks at friendship, how you argue and what you build together. - **[Imago relationship therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/#imago-dialogue)** You take turns to speak and listen, with the therapist as a guide. The methods overlap. Each link shows the work and what the research can tell us. A 2026 review found no couple therapy with strong support. It placed seven methods, emotionally focused therapy and the Gottman method among them, in a tier of modest support. Sources: [ICEEFT: overview](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-2), [Gottman Institute: method](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-3), [Imago International: toolbox](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-1), [Jackson et al. 2026](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-15) ## When couples therapy is not the right *start* Couples therapy needs both of you to speak freely. That cannot happen when one partner is afraid of the other. Respect, a domestic abuse charity, says couples therapy is not safe when a relationship is abusive. Abuse is not only violence. The law counts controlling or coercive behaviour and economic abuse as domestic abuse too. It covers partners and ex-partners aged 16 or over. If this sounds like your relationship, support for you on your own comes first. These services help people experiencing abuse from a partner. Each one talks through your options in confidence. [National Domestic Abuse Helpline](https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk) Women England Open 24/7 [Call](tel:+448082000247) [Live Fear Free](https://www.gov.wales/live-fear-free) All genders Wales Open 24/7 [Call](tel:+448088010800) [Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline](https://www.sdafmh.org.uk) All genders Scotland Open 24/7 [Call](tel:+448000271234) [Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline](https://dsahelpline.org) 18 and over Northern Ireland Open 24/7 [Call](tel:+448088021414) [Men's Advice Line](https://mensadviceline.org.uk) Men Advice and support for men experiencing domestic abuse. Weekdays 10am to 5pm [Call](tel:+448088010327) [Galop](https://galop.org.uk) LGBT+ adults Support for LGBT+ people experiencing abuse or violence, including from a partner or family, from an LGBT+ charity. Closed 1pm to 2pm and at weekends. Closes at 3.30pm on the first Thursday of each month. Mon and Tue 9.15am to 8pm Wed to Fri 9.15am to 4.30pm [Call](tel:+448009995428) If your own anger or control frightens a partner, support exists for you too. The Respect Phoneline is a confidential helpline for people who use abuse. [Respect Phoneline](https://respectphoneline.org.uk) People who use abuse Confidential advice for people who are abusive towards a partner, and for those supporting them. Weekdays 10am to 5pm [Call](tel:+448088024040) Our [anger page](https://viacara.com/support/anger/) covers what a professional can do with anger. Sources: [Respect: domestic abuse support](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-10), [Domestic Abuse Act 2021 s1](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-12), [Respect: about](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-11) ## For every *kind* of couple Couples therapy is for couples who are married and couples who are not. It is for partners of any gender, and for same-sex and opposite-sex couples. It is for polyamorous and non-monogamous relationships, and for [blended families](https://viacara.com/support/family/). It is also for couples deciding whether to begin at all, or how to end with care. A good therapist works with the relationship in the room, not the one they expected. ## Who to *look* for Look for a professional who names couples or relationship work in their profile. Ask what training they have in it, and how often they see couples. Ask which professional body they belong to. COSRT, the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists, keeps a register of its members. UKCP accredits psychotherapists and records which of them work with couples. Ask how they use individual sessions, and what they do with something one of you says alone. A clear answer is a good sign. Sources: [COSRT: find a therapist](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-14), [UKCP: find a therapist](https://viacara.com/support/couples/#ref-13) Thanks for your interest. We're not taking on new clients at the moment. ## Looking for *couples* therapy? We ask what matters to you, then find professionals who fit. Leave your email and we'll let you know as soon as we're ready for you. This conversation helps us find you the right support. What you share helps us understand what you're looking for and find someone who fits. Your email keeps you updated on what's happening next and isn't shared with anyone we introduce you to. [Privacy policy](https://viacara.com/privacy) [Terms of service](https://viacara.com/terms) ## References 1. Imago International Training Institute (2019). *Toolbox: Segments 1 and 2*. [Link](https://imagolearning.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Toolbox-Segments-1-2-wwkups-_1-2019.pdf) 2. International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (2026). *What is EFT?*. [Link](https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft-public/) 3. The Gottman Institute (2026). *The Gottman Method*. [Link](https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/) 4. Relate (2026). *Initial assessments*. [Link](https://www.relate.org.uk/what-we-do/counselling/initial-assessments) 5. Relate (2026). *Relate FAQs*. [Link](https://www.relate.org.uk/about-us/relate-faqs) 6. Tavistock Relationships (2026). *FAQs: counselling and psychotherapy services*. [Link](https://tavistockrelationships.org/counselling-psychotherapy/faqs) 7. Tavistock Relationships (2026). *Affordable relationship counselling in London and online*. [Link](https://tavistockrelationships.org/counselling-psychotherapy/affordable-counselling) 8. NHS (2026). *Treatment: depression in adults*. [Link](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/depression-in-adults/treatment/) 9. National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (2022). *Depression in adults: treatment and management (NG222)*. [Link](https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng222) 10. Respect (2026). *Help for domestic abuse victims*. [Link](https://respectphoneline.org.uk/help-for-domestic-abuse-victims/) 11. Respect (2026). *About us*. [Link](https://respectphoneline.org.uk/about-us/) 12. UK Parliament (2021). *Domestic Abuse Act 2021, section 1: Definition of domestic abuse*. [Link](https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2021/17/section/1) 13. UK Council for Psychotherapy (2026). *Find a therapist*. [Link](https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/find-a-therapist/) 14. College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (2026). *Find a therapist*. [Link](https://www.cosrt.org.uk/search-members/) 15. Jackson, J. B., Codecá, L., Miller, R. B., Simpson, J. E., O'Leary, A. M. & Renner, S. M. (2026). *Empirically supported couple therapy models for couple relationship distress: A replication and update*. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. [doi:10.1111/jmft.70162](https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.70162) ## Related ### [Finding the Right Practitioner](https://viacara.com/guides/finding-a-practitioner/) A practical guide to finding a mental health practitioner who fits your needs, preferences and budget. ### [Relational Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/relational-therapy/) Learn how relational therapy works through the relationship with your therapist, how it differs from psychodynamic therapy and what research shows. ### [Humanistic Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/humanistic/) Learn how humanistic therapy sees you as a whole person, what happens in a session, who it tends to suit and what the research covers. ### [What to Expect from a First Consultation](https://viacara.com/guides/what-to-expect/) Everything you need to know about your first therapy or coaching session, from what to say to how to prepare. ### [Sexual Difficulties](https://viacara.com/support/sexual-difficulties/) Low desire, pain, erection or orgasm problems are common and can be worked on. Check the physical causes with a GP, then find a psychosexual therapist. ### [LGBTQ+ and Gender Identity](https://viacara.com/support/lgbtq-and-gender-identity/) Support for sexuality and gender identity from a professional who will not treat either as the problem. Find a professional who works affirmingly. ### [Someone Else's Addiction](https://viacara.com/support/someone-elses-addiction/) When a partner, parent or child is drinking, using or gambling, the strain lands on you too. Support exists for you, in your own right. ### [Alcohol and Drugs](https://viacara.com/support/addiction/alcohol-and-drugs/) Free NHS and charity services treat drinking and drug problems, and you can refer yourself. Talking support works alongside them, never instead. ### [Perinatal Mental Health](https://viacara.com/support/perinatal/) Low mood, anxiety or numbness in pregnancy or after birth are common and treatable. Find a professional who works with new and expectant parents. ### [Anger](https://viacara.com/support/anger/) Anger is a normal feeling. When it comes too fast, too often or too hard, it can be worked on. Find a professional who helps you understand it. ### [Family Relationships](https://viacara.com/support/family/) Strain with parents, siblings, children or step-family is common and can be worked on. Find a professional who helps with family relationships. ### [Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT, not EMDR)](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/) Learn how emotionally focused therapy works for couples and families, how it differs from EMDR and tapping, and what the research shows. ### [Anxious about getting married](https://viacara.com/support/moments/getting-married/) Anxious about your wedding or your marriage? Space to explore your questions, talk about what matters and find support before the day. ### [Psychosexual Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/psychosexual-therapy/) Learn what psychosexual therapy involves, why a GP check often comes first, what happens in sessions and how to find a qualified therapist. ### [Family and Systemic Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/family-and-systemic-therapy/) Learn how family and systemic therapy works with the patterns between people, who comes to sessions and what NICE and the research say.