![A garden shed with the door open, a lavender armchair inside and a storm passing over the allotments](https://viacara.com/img/content/anger-feature-light.webp) # Anger Anger is a normal feeling. When it comes too fast, too often or too hard, it can be worked on. Find a professional who helps you understand it. Anger is a normal feeling, and sometimes a useful one. It becomes a problem when it comes too fast, too often or too hard, and costs you things you love. Many people who ask for help with anger are also ashamed of it, and that shame keeps them quiet. The NHS lists things you can try yourself, and when to see a GP. This page explains what anger does to you, what sets it off and what talking therapy offers. Source: [NHS: anger](https://viacara.com/support/anger/#ref-1) ## How it *feels* The NHS describes what anger does to the body: a faster heartbeat, tense muscles, clenched fists and a tight chest. In the mind it shows up as feeling tense, unable to relax or easily irritated. It can also feel like humiliation, or resentment of other people. In behaviour, the NHS lists shouting, ignoring people or sulking, starting fights, breaking things and self-harming. Not everyone who struggles with anger shouts. Some go cold and silent, and that lands on the people around them just as hard. Source: [NHS: anger](https://viacara.com/support/anger/#ref-1) ## What sets it off The NHS says people often feel angry when they feel treated unfairly, threatened, disrespected or interrupted. What turns that spark into a fire depends on what else is going on: - How much stress you are already carrying - What anger looked like in the family you grew up in - Past [trauma](https://viacara.com/support/trauma/), which can lead to angry outbursts - Alcohol or drug use Poor sleep sharpens all of it. If your nights are short, our [sleep page](https://viacara.com/support/sleep/) may be part of the answer. Source: [NHS: anger](https://viacara.com/support/anger/#ref-1) ## Anger and feeling *small* Anger often sits on top of something softer. Feeling humiliated is on the NHS list of what anger feels like. Many people find their worst flashes come when they feel small, exposed or not good enough. If that sounds familiar, our [self-esteem page](https://viacara.com/support/self-esteem/) covers the opinion underneath. Working on that can take the heat out of the anger without ever discussing the anger at all. Source: [NHS: anger](https://viacara.com/support/anger/#ref-1) ![The same shed after the storm, the sky clearing and a robin on the spade handle](https://viacara.com/img/content/anger-mid-light.webp) The storm passes, and what you do next is the part you can change ## What you can *try* first The NHS lists things that help many people in the moment: - Count to 10 before you respond - Try calming breathing exercises - Join a peer support group - Talk to someone you trust about what set you off - Exercise regularly, whether running, walking, swimming or yoga - Use mindfulness to notice the feeling before it takes over The NHS also names what makes anger worse: reaching for alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to cope. They quiet it for an evening and feed it for a year. Source: [NHS: anger](https://viacara.com/support/anger/#ref-1) ## What talking therapy can do The NHS says to see a GP if you are struggling to manage your anger. The same applies if you have [felt low for more than two weeks](https://viacara.com/support/depression/). The NHS names anger management programmes, which may involve one-to-one counselling and group work, and cognitive behavioural therapy. If you live in England, you can refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies. Elsewhere in the UK, ask a GP what talking therapy your area offers. [Cognitive behavioural therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/cbt/) works on the split second between the trigger and the reaction, and widens it. A counsellor looks at where it came from. Many people find that once the anger is understood, it has less to do. Sources: [NHS: anger](https://viacara.com/support/anger/#ref-1), [NHS: talking therapies](https://viacara.com/support/anger/#ref-2) ## Who to *look* for Look for a professional who names anger in their profile, and ask how they work with it. Ask whether sessions are solo, with a partner, or both. If the anger mostly lands on your relationship, our [couples page](https://viacara.com/support/couples/) covers what happens when the strain sits between you. ## If anger has *hurt* someone Some anger has already crossed a line, or come close. The NHS says to see a GP if you have been abusive or violent. If you have hurt someone, or you are afraid you will, tell a professional today, not after the next time. Our [UK crisis page](https://viacara.com/crisis/gb/) lists people you can talk to at any hour, including if the anger has turned inward. Asking for help with anger is hard, and most people leave it too long. Tell us what sets it off and what it costs you, and we will find the right person. Source: [NHS: anger](https://viacara.com/support/anger/#ref-1) Thanks for your interest. We're not taking on new clients at the moment. ## Ready to get *ahead* of your anger? We ask what matters to you, then find professionals who fit. Leave your email and we'll let you know as soon as we're ready for you. This conversation helps us find you the right support. What you share helps us understand what you're looking for and find someone who fits. Your email keeps you updated on what's happening next and isn't shared with anyone we introduce you to. [Privacy policy](https://viacara.com/privacy) [Terms of service](https://viacara.com/terms) ## References 1. National Health Service (2026). *Get help with anger*. [Link](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/anger/) 2. National Health Service (2026). *Find an NHS talking therapies service*. [Link](https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/find-nhs-talking-therapies-for-anxiety-and-depression/) ## Related ### [Understanding Anxiety](https://viacara.com/support/anxiety/) Learn about anxiety, its symptoms and how therapy can help. Find the right practitioner for anxiety support. ### [Low Self-Esteem](https://viacara.com/support/self-esteem/) Low self-esteem is a learned opinion of yourself, and it can change. Find a professional who helps you see yourself more fairly. ### [Sleep Problems and Insomnia](https://viacara.com/support/sleep/) Insomnia is thought to affect around 1 in 3 people in the UK. Find a professional who works with sleep and with what keeps you awake. ### [Couples Therapy](https://viacara.com/support/couples/) Couples therapy for any kind of couple: how sessions work, time alone with the therapist, what it costs for two and when it is not the right start. ### [Waiting Until It Gets Serious](https://viacara.com/support/men/waiting-until-crisis/) Men often hold on until something breaks. The figures on midlife men are hard reading, and there is a lot of room before that point. ### [Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)](https://viacara.com/approaches/cbt/) Learn how CBT works, what happens in sessions and what NICE says about it, and read about its forms for sleep, pain and self-help. ### [Trauma and PTSD](https://viacara.com/support/trauma/) Trauma can keep a frightening event alive long after it ended. PTSD is common and treatable. Find a professional who works with trauma. ### [Low Mood and Depression](https://viacara.com/support/depression/) Low mood that lasts two weeks or more can be a sign of depression. It is common and treatable. Find a professional who works with low mood.