![Two lavender armchairs under a rose-covered pergola, with a third plain chair facing them both](https://viacara.com/img/content/approaches-couples-counselling-feature-light.webp) # Couples Counselling Learn what couples counselling is, what the first sessions and the assessment involve, what it costs and how to check a counsellor's register. ## What is couples counselling? Couples counselling is talking with a trained counsellor as a couple. It names a training in couples work, not one named method. A counsellor does not give you advice or their own opinion. They help you both see the situation more clearly, so the next step is yours. Some couples counsellors train in one method, such as [the Gottman method](https://viacara.com/approaches/gottman/) or [emotionally focused therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/). Ask a counsellor how they work. Source: [BACP: counselling](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-5) ## How it *works* A couples counsellor sits with both of you and takes neither side. Their job is to slow the talk down, so each of you can hear what the other one means. You might bring the same row on repeat, or a loss of trust. You might bring a big change, such as a new baby, or a choice about staying together. Relate says counselling can help couples talk through and negotiate a separation or a divorce. Source: [Relate: FAQs](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-1) ## What *sessions* look like At Relate, a session usually lasts about 50 minutes. At Relate, the start is an assessment over two sessions. The first is a joint meeting. In the second, each of you meets the counsellor alone for 25 minutes. How couples counselling *starts* at Relate 1. **Meet together** Both partners meet the counsellor in a joint first session. 2. **Meet alone** Each partner has 25 minutes with the counsellor on their own. 3. **Plan the work** The counsellor and the couple agree which service can help. Time alone with the counsellor is part of every Relate couples assessment. Other services set their own first steps. Ask at the start what the counsellor does with something you tell them alone. At Tavistock Relationships, you get a regular weekly appointment. Sessions go on for as long as you and your therapist find them helpful. Sources: [Relate: FAQs](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-1), [Relate: initial assessments](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-2), [Tavistock Relationships: FAQs](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-3) ![The pergola seen from its garden gate, the path through it open](https://viacara.com/img/content/approaches-couples-counselling-mid-light.webp) A couples counsellor sits with both of you and takes neither side ## If your partner will not *come* You can start on your own. Tavistock Relationships sees many people alone, sometimes because a partner does not want to attend. Relate cannot ask your partner to come for you. It can help you plan how to raise it. If one of you is afraid of the other, couples counselling is not the right start. Our [couples page](https://viacara.com/support/couples/) explains why, and where to begin instead. Sources: [Tavistock Relationships: FAQs](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-3), [Relate: FAQs](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-1) ## What it *costs* One fee usually covers the session, not each person in it. In England and Wales, Relate's fees depend on household income. Tavistock Relationships also sets fees by income. Depression can be part of the strain. Then NICE says to consider [behavioural couples therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/behavioural-couples/). NICE does not name couples counselling as such. Sources: [Relate: FAQs](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-1), [Tavistock Relationships: fees](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-4), [NICE NG222](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-8) ## *Training* and what to ask Relate says all its counsellors are specially trained in relationship counselling. Qualifying with Relate takes two to three years. Counsellor is not a protected title in the UK. Anyone can use the word, so the register matters more than the title. Look for a counsellor on a register accredited by the Professional Standards Authority. Ask where they trained in couples work. Our [counselling page](https://viacara.com/approaches/counselling/) covers counselling for one person. Sources: [Relate: FAQs](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-1), [POST: professional regulation](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-6), [PSA: accredited registers](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#ref-7) On this page [What is couples counselling?](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#what-is-couples-counselling) [How it works](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#how-it-works) [What sessions look like](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#what-sessions-look-like) [If your partner will not come](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#if-your-partner-will-not-come) [What it costs](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#what-it-costs) [Training and what to ask](https://viacara.com/approaches/couples-counselling/#training-and-what-to-ask) Related [Couples Therapy](https://viacara.com/support/couples/) [Counselling](https://viacara.com/approaches/counselling/) [Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT, not EMDR)](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/) [The Gottman Method for Couples](https://viacara.com/approaches/gottman/) [Imago Relationship Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/imago/) [Behavioural Couples Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/behavioural-couples/) [Finding the Right Support](https://viacara.com/guides/finding-a-practitioner/) Thanks for your interest. We're not taking on new clients at the moment. ## Looking for couples counselling? We ask what matters to you, then find professionals who fit. Leave your email and we'll let you know as soon as we're ready for you. This conversation helps us find you the right support. What you share helps us understand what you're looking for and find someone who fits. Your email keeps you updated on what's happening next and isn't shared with anyone we introduce you to. [Privacy policy](https://viacara.com/privacy/) [Terms of service](https://viacara.com/terms/) ## References 1. Relate (2026). *Relate FAQs*. [relate.org.uk](https://www.relate.org.uk/about-us/relate-faqs) 2. Relate (2026). *Initial assessments*. [relate.org.uk](https://www.relate.org.uk/what-we-do/counselling/initial-assessments) 3. Tavistock Relationships (2026). *FAQs: counselling and psychotherapy services*. [tavistockrelationships.org](https://tavistockrelationships.org/counselling-psychotherapy/faqs) 4. Tavistock Relationships (2026). *Affordable relationship counselling in London and online*. [tavistockrelationships.org](https://tavistockrelationships.org/counselling-psychotherapy/affordable-counselling) 5. British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (2024). *What is counselling?*. [bacp.co.uk](https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/what-is-counselling/) 6. Parliamentary Office of Science and Technology (2024). *Regulation of psychological professionals*. [post.parliament.uk](https://post.parliament.uk/regulation-of-psychological-professionals/) 7. Professional Standards Authority (2026). *Accredited Registers*. [professionalstandards.org.uk](https://www.professionalstandards.org.uk/accredited-registers) 8. National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (2022). *Depression in adults: treatment and management (NG222)*. [nice.org.uk](https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng222) ## Related ### [Couples Therapy](https://viacara.com/support/couples/) Couples therapy for any kind of couple: how sessions work, time alone with the therapist, what it costs for two and when it is not the right start. ### [Counselling](https://viacara.com/approaches/counselling/) Learn what counselling is, what sessions look like, how it differs from CBT and psychotherapy and how to find a counsellor on a recognised register. ### [Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT, not EMDR)](https://viacara.com/approaches/emotionally-focused-therapy/) Learn how emotionally focused therapy works for couples and families, how it differs from EMDR and tapping, and what the research shows. ### [The Gottman Method for Couples](https://viacara.com/approaches/gottman/) Learn how the Gottman method works for couples, what the assessment and sessions involve, and what the research does and does not show. ### [Imago Relationship Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/imago/) Learn how Imago relationship therapy works, what the Imago dialogue asks of each partner, and what the research does and does not show. ### [Behavioural Couples Therapy](https://viacara.com/approaches/behavioural-couples/) Learn how behavioural couples therapy works, when NICE recommends it for depression, and how integrative behavioural couple therapy differs. ### [Finding the Right Support](https://viacara.com/guides/finding-a-practitioner/) A practical guide to finding a mental health practitioner who fits your needs, preferences and budget.